Unavoidable
by Yosuke
Summary: What happens when it ends? What do you feel when your time comes, and you leave a world behind? Do you regret your wish? Do you feel contempt for your decisions? Or for the monster that made it all possible? Do you lash out, or become self-destructive? How can anyone handle such a tragic ending? Short-fic, rated for slight violence and angst, contains minor plot spoilers.


Unavoidable  
Yosuke  
Angst/Drama

AN: My first PMMM story, whoop whoop. Cranked this out in two days, mainly to sate my need to write, as I have some severe writer's block on my other stories.

NOTE: This story is told from the perspective of one character. It could be from any of the girls in the anime, but I intentionally left it ambiguous so that the reader could depict whoever they want based on what they read. There are no specific clues to tell who the main character is (though I had a certain character in mind while writing this). It would take place in one of the universes that was constantly relived in the series, and seeing as there were so many, and something different happened each time, be it very small or very drastic, I figured that perhaps there were some universe re-visits that weren't shown and just assumed to happen. Or perhaps it takes place during one that _was_ shown, when certain characters weren't seen.  
I leave it up to you to determine who this story is about. Feel free to leave a review telling me who you thought the story could've been about. If anything, it'll be good feedback to know how accurate I might've been to the character I pictured for this story.

This story is based on the anime series.  
PMMM not mine.

* * *

I'd learned the horrible truth nearly two hours ago. Red, unblinking eyes followed me home, and all I could do to keep myself from running in a frenzied state through the streets of my home town was to keep my eyes focused on my own shoes and listen mindlessly to the passing cars. There was a pain deep down in my chest, and my mind wanted to focus on it very heavily, but I willed myself to ignore it. It was all I could do. Helpless, foolish little me.

I heard the footsteps following me all the way back, the soft, padded paws trailing me like a specter, and all I wanted to do was kill it. What had it done to me? Why had it let this awful ordeal happen? What kind of heartless creature would condone, would _encourage_, such horrifying things?

How could anyone let someone die like this?

_I don't deserve this._

I was crippled by my own sorrow, and the fear uncurling deep inside. Nothing could save me then, and I was resigned to the fact that I was no more powerful than an infant left in a sealed car on a hot day. I grimaced. How morbid. But despite the mind-numbing fear of the analogy, I couldn't fight the chuckle escaping my mouth. _How did it all lead to this? What had I done? How could I have possibly been so foolish?_

Yes, maybe this was my fault. Or was it the little monster trailing behind me? Maybe if I could've forgotten my fear and just pretend to be some kind of pathetic little superhero for the rest of my short, unnecessary life, I wouldn't have been faced with my tragic ending so soon.

_"There is no avoiding it,"_ the monster behind me had spoken to my thoughts, the sound resonating like someone screaming in an empty opera house. How could it understand? Death, imminent death... It was terrifying.

_"It serves a great purpose. You are contributing to a cause of lives. Does one not usually take pride in this? I don't understand humans. I cannot comprehend why it is you feel fear, and why death is something so unwelcome when it is meant for something so grand."_

"Just go die," I whispered out in response, and with that, I bolted the rest of the way home, dark passersby watching wordlessly. _Just go die._ Who had I spoken that to? The monster? Or myself? Who should be the one to die?

I found myself in my apartment before I was even aware I'd arrived, and in a meaningless attempt to secure my own well being, I locked the doors and windows. It could still get to me, I knew it. But I would have to pretend I couldn't see it, couldn't hear it. _Just pretend this isn't happening. Yes, that'll fix everything, you unimaginable moron._

I might've deserved this. What had I been hoping for when I made my wish? Getting what I want and helping to ensure peace on Earth? _I _am_ a moron._

I deserved this end. I deserved this unhappy climax. Like a bad story. Like a terribly written play, one driven by a cry for attention and getting high on something you don't need. I'd fooled myself into believing I'd be happy. It had fooled me too, that wretched, backstabbing voyeur. I could feel its eyes on me again. I didn't bother to look for it. The scarlet eyes, the blood red eyes watching me like a hawk, waiting for the moment I let go.

When would I let go? When would I succumb to the evil consequences? When all hope was lost, of course. When my grief had run its course. That was when the witch would emerge. That was when I would die.

I hated it. I hated it all, and I hated myself, and that monster. I hated everyone. I hated my friends, the ones who had joined me in this meaningless quest, and the ones who remained unknowing and oblivious to how much I would suffer, how quickly it would all end for me. I hated my parents for giving birth to me. I hated God for allowing this to happen. I hated the people I had saved, and the people that would prosper in the future from my sacrifice.

My usually busy hands had remained still at my side for several moments, and I could feel their urge to do something time-consuming. Make tea. Make food. Do laundry. Brush your hair. Anything. But instead of doing something useful, they instead had risen to my face to wipe my free-flowing tears. I was crying. How long had that been going on? When had I started sobbing like a little kid?

I collapsed to my knees then and cried and cried. My forehead was buried into the carpeting of my tiny, suffocating apartment. The air was so hot and thick. When had it started raining outside? The sound of raindrops against the glass sounded like gunfire. My hands were still rubbing uselessly at my own face to dry my tears, but with my frustration came the violence, and soon I was clawing at my own skin, digging my fingernails into my cheeks and eyelids. I felt the blood trickling down, and had my vision been clear, I'm sure I would've seen the red under my nails.

I started pulling at my hair, ripping out locks and completely ignoring the intense pain it naturally should've caused. I wanted to rip open my throat. I wanted to tear out my lungs. I wanted my skin to be pulled clean off my body.

_I don't want to die._

Blinded by my tears and blood, I fell face-first onto the floor and cried for several long moments, each passing second becoming longer and longer, and each heartbeat under my skin thrumming harder and harder. The eyes were still there, the scalding gaze of the reaper who had condemned me. I wished so hard that my hands were on it then, so that I might tear its detestable little head off.

_"Killing me would be of no use to you. It will fix nothing for you, and another would simply take my place."_

"Please..." I found myself sobbing as if the thing were pointing a gun to my head. "Please... I don't want to die... Please... Please..."

_"Wishes cannot be taken back, and contracts cannot be undone. It is a shame you do not see how wonderful this truly is, how great a deed you are committing to."_

"Please... no... I didn't want this... I didn't want it like this... I thought... I thought..."

_"It is unfortunate for you, though beneficial to us that it is _because_ you don't think things through that these contracts can continuously be made, and life can continue for us. A human life is so short anyway. Why does it matter so much if it ends for you now rather than later? Truth be told, you could have easily been killed off my a witch tomorrow were you not a Magical Girl. But you are, and you had duties to fulfill. You have done a wonderful job, and now that your time has come to an end, another Magical Girl will arrive soon to end this witch's life and take her Grief Seed. We all thank you for your contribution. You were quite a powerful Magical Girl."_

Blood had begun to pool under my face, and I could no longer see at all. My eyelids were torn, as well as my lips and scalp. Pain moved in tremors across my whole being, shocking me to my foundation as I lay a helpless, ignorant wretch on the dull, damp carpet of my apartment-turned-tomb.

"Is this... Is this it... Kyuubey?" I managed to breathe out. "Is it my time? Now?"

_"Yes."_ Its voice was fuzzy in my head, and despite my pure rage and hatred of the devilish monster, I longed to hold onto that sound of its voice, to at least establish that I was still alive. But each time it spoke, the fainter its voice became. _"You have reached your pique as a Magical Girl, and built up enough power as a witch. You will be a formidable battle for one of yours friends, but it is likely that they will defeat you, and you will die."_

"I'm not... I'm not done, though... I still have... so much left to do... So much life left..."

I could feel its confusion. _"No, there is no more life for you. You will die now. Your life was destined to be short, and this will be painful, but it will be over soon."_

There were no words of encouragement, no words of hope or love, like one would expect when lying on their deathbed. There was no compassion for me, only the hope from my only visitor in my time of dying that I would soon be dead to pass on a life for someone else.

_It's what I deserve. I'm an idiot. I am a lonely, dying idiot._

My Soul Gem burned brightly, and scalding cold, from within my pocket, and I longed to look at it, if only to see my life whither away. The cold moved from that pocket along my hip and slowly spread across my skin like a fire until I was consumed in the chilling lifelessness of my own soul's dying energy. I could feel the contamination, and having no Grief Seeds to purify my own soul, I was resigned to the fact that it was all over.

_It's all over. It's time._

The physical pain left me, and all I was left with was the horrible cold. It was so cold, so freezing. Death... Was this it? Was this what it felt like? Cold and quiet? Would there be a tunnel with a light at the end? Would there be pearly gates or angels waiting for me?

_"There will be nothing,"_ I heard it say with not a notion of compassion in its voice. _"There is only the dark."_

_The dark..._ I was being drawn into it, and in my final moments of conscious thought, I remembered my friends, my parents, my school, my comrades, the people I'd saved, the witches I'd killed... Their faces slipped into the darkness, and I was left with nothing but the memory of my regrettable decision to attain a wish in exchange for my own life. It had been so worthless, that wish, now that it was all over. Would I take it back had I the opportunity? Of course. A million times over, yes. But I couldn't, and it was time to suffer the consequences.

_I don't deserve this..._

_ I do... I deserve this..._

_ And so do the others... Anyone who makes the same decision as I, deserves this as well._

_ I will be hateful. I will be spiteful._

_ I will kill my friends when they come for me._

_ I will destroy everything around me._

_ After all, I was a good person, and if I somehow deserve to die, what right does everyone else have to live?_

_ Yes... That's right. After all..._

_ I am a witch now, right?_

* * *

Ze end.

* * *

AN: So who did you imagine this story was focused on? I'm curious to know how others decipher this story.

Please pardon any story-related mistakes. I have watched the series through with great interest, however there were so many minute details to everything that it was a little hard to follow sometimes. I checked my references a few times while writing this, so I hope I didn't miss anything.

Review por favor.


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